he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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