the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
