i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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