I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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