Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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