hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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