Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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