A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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