omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
