Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
