She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
