youre lurking in front of me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it because I queefed?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
