You're a womanizer and a bitch.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
