Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
