would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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