Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
