O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
