can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
