So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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