i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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