Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Found your dick twin last night
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
