So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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