I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
