I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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