I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
