whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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