What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
