We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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