Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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