i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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