i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
