My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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