I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
