just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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