Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
BRING THE BAGELS
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
