Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
