It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
