Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He had one of those small greek statue penises
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize