capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Randomize
