Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
