It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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