yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Are we still banned from the library?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
