Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon

(1-631): View more from New York

been there done that

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(416): View more from Ontario

dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

Fav 12 7488 928
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.

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(419): View more from Ohio

You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

Fav 8 4510 1445
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(410): View more from Maryland

You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"

Fav 6 3143 1188
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(307): View more from Wyoming

He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

Fav 7 4049 1248
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(520): View more from Arizona

Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?

Fav 5 2260 999
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(509): View more from Washington

I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...

Fav 0 374 360
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(727): View more from Florida

The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.

Fav 0 73 12
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