I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Randomize
