I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
