Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize