a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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