Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
