Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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