This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
