yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
