If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
