just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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