She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
